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9 Funny Quotes about Parenting & Sleep

Ah, sweet sleep! Remember those days when you could sleep until 10, take leisurely naps on the weekends and the only time you woke up in the middle of the night was to scribble a note in your dream journal?

Well, those days might seem far, far away since baby entered the picture. But have no fear – it will get better (especially if Nanit has something to say about it!). And, you’re in good company.

Check out these 9 funny quotes about parenting and sleep that prove you’re not alone…

1. “‘Sleep when your baby sleeps.’ Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.” –Tina Fey

2. “Our baby in particular is, we think, allergic to sleep. We think that she thinks that she’s protecting us from the sleep monsters. She’s like, ‘Oh, I gotta keep them up or the sleep monsters will get them.’” –Ryan Reynolds

3. “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” –Leo J. Burk

4. “I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.” –Tiffani Thiessen

5. “The bedtime routine for my kids is like this Royal Coronation Jubilee Centennial of rinsing and plaque and dental appliances and the stuffed animal semi-circle of emotional support. And I’ve gotta read eight different moron books. You know what my bedtime story was when I was a kid? Darkness!” –Jerry Seinfeld

6. “The only things kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.” –John J. Plomp

7. “The sleep deprivation after children is so real. I liken it to what it must feel like to walk on the moon and cry the whole time because you had heard that the moon was supposed to be great but in truth it totally sucks.” –Amy Poehler

8. “Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” –Alyson Hannigan

9. “Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is, ‘When can I come back here?’ It’s the carrot that keeps me motivated. Sometimes going to bed feels like the highlight of my day. Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.” –Jim Gaffigan

Got your own wise words about parenting and sleep? Share them with us on Facebook or Twitter!

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Diana Aydin
Diana Aydin

Diana is an editor and writer based in New York City, and she frequently writes about health, parenting and everything babies. She’s been a fan of sleep since the early 1980s.